December 31, 2017

PFLAG is grateful to have a long and lovely history with Dear Abby. In fact, it was she who helped put PFLAG on the map so many years ago!

Since then, she's received a number of letters from LGBTQ individuals, their families and friends, and she has always offered PFLAG as a resource.

On April 1, 2001, a reader named 'Hurting in Houston' sent a letter to Abby. HIH is a gay man and he and his partner found themselves no longer welcome in his parents' home after a move to a retirement community; the parents were concerned about what the new neighbors would think...and this led to an estrangement. Abby advised HIH to live his own life and perhaps someday his parents would come around. Click here now to read the original letter in its entirety.

Last week, HIH wrote back to Abby--that's right, 13 years later!!--to update her on the situation, which had changed and, as Abby predicted, for the better!

Said HIH:

After a number of years, I received a call from a sibling informing me that my father was ill with only a short time left, and I should fly to their city to see him. I asked if I was wanted, and he said, “It doesn’t matter, just come!” So I swallowed my pride, flew there and made my way to the hospice house. Although my mother received me well, Dad did not, and we never had a good moment before he died a few days later. I told my mother I was staying for the funeral whether she liked it or not and had my partner fly in. After the service there was a gathering at my mother’s house with all their friends. I introduced my partner to them and everyone was as kind as could be. Many mentioned their own gay siblings or relatives. When the event was over, my mother said, “Wow, this has all been pretty silly, hasn’t it?” It was such a colossal understatement that I could not find words to respond.

The letter goes on to describe the wonderful relationship HIH and his partner went on to build with his mother before her death.

Visit the Dear Abby website to read the whole update from HIH, who really is no longer hurting in Houston!