December 31, 2017

Mom and Dad,

I know you don't support me or who I am and I currently feel that you never will, although I hope that one day you and the rest of our extremely large family will come around. I want you to know that I miss the holidays, the birthdays every month and all of the other times that our family gets together. I miss you both dearly. I am sorry that I have hurt you by being gay and made you feel like you longer have a son. I am lonely. Though I have many friends and people close to me, I don't have my family and that hurts me terribly. 

Illustration by Mark at


I wish you could have met Chase before he died. I know you don't want to hear about him but you need to I think. Though he was a Michigan fan, he was always very humbled and respectful about the OSU rivalry (being that I'm a die-hard Buckeye). He loved the outdoors like myself. We went camping and exploring whenever we could. He was proud, just like me, to serve his country. His smile could light up a room. He always looked into a persons heart instead of judging them by a look. He was everything that you taught me was good in a person and everything that one could always hope for. While both of us were very "straight-acting" men, he was the most sensual and compassionate person I had ever met before. He loved me with all of his being and I did him as well. It was a match made in heaven. When I had to escort his body home, it was the hardest thing I had ever had to do before. Facing his father hurt so much as I promised him I would always protect and watch over him.

I needed you. I needed the loving hug from a mother and a pat on the shoulder and kind words from a father. But there was nothing. I was angry at you both for so long but I'm not anymore. I understand that you just don't understand where I am coming from and how I am the way that I am. I want you to know that I forgive you. I love you and I always will. I hope that one day, I can find true love again. Both with a partner...and with my family.


Take care and please call me back.

Your always loving son,